🔗 Share this article

The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the idea that someone could instantly end communication with a partner without a word seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more confounding – an frequently pointless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a generation who matured during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed guide to the terms gen Z is using to navigate love, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

---

A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s response is interested or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This refers to going for someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who opt out of having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Personal quirks signaling a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {