🔗 Share this article Navigating my Yearning for Casual Encounters Whilst Seeking a Committed Partnership Being a homosexual male in my late 40s, I’ve spent numerous, mostly pleasurable years engaging in spontaneous encounters with other men since the age of 19. In my 30s, I was in a committed partnership that lasted four years, however I never felt completely content, because I didn't experience love or intimately fulfilled. Truthfully, my constant desire has been for uncommitted intimacy. Every time I start seeing a potential partner, once the newness dwindles, I always get the urge to have sex with new partners again. Questioning the Feasibility of Monogamy Currently, I'm contemplating whether it's possible for me to sustain a faithful partnership. I'm aware that numerous homosexual males engage in open relationships, but when I’ve witnessed them, they have seemed like hard work, often causing lots of heartache and envy for everyone involved. To a large extent, I want another man to love me while allowing me to pursue other intimacies, however I dread to imagine the psychological toll this might create. Is it best to continue to have spontaneous encounters and accept that a long-term relationship is not possible? I feel a bit lost. Every person’s intimate path varies. Avoid considering about what you require in partnerships or your ability to handle various forms of intimate connections as fixed. What you need as you are experiencing them now could easily shift in the future; at a certain time you might become less ambivalent and find greater understanding and a comfortable path … or perhaps not. One day you might meet someone who provides a life-changing chance for you through mirroring what you want in a holistic fashion … and later on you may choose that casual connections are best for you. Fretting over what lies ahead and playing endless speculation is merely anxiety-based and squandering of your efforts. Try to be present in your relationships, and recognize the value of each person with whom you might have an intimate bond. When and if the time is right to deepen true intimacy with one partner, you will know. The psychotherapist is a US-based therapy professional who specialises in treating intimacy issues.